1. Pass. Contemporary MG. Interesting concept, but weak writing, plus a number of grammatical mistakes.
2. Pass. YA paranormal (I think. It’s unclear.) Another interesting concept, and a great opening paragraph, but the author makes a common mistake and keeps things way too vague in the rest of the query. Of course you don’t want to give away the twists and turns of your narrative, but you need to be specific enough to intrigue me.
3. Pass. Short story collection for MG, which isn’t an automatic pass, though it is close. The real reason I’m declining is because the author doesn’t tell me anything about the plots, and instead focuses on the lessons to be learned in reading the stories.
4. Pass. Contemporary YA novel, with unfortunately weak writing, so much so that it was hard to even get a handle on the query.
5. Pass. A YA fantasy novel highly dependent on issues of destiny and prophecy, which I find a challenge to enjoy.
6. Pass. Adult mystery/suspense, which I don’t represent.
7. Pass. Another adult novel, this one a suspense/mystery. (I wonder what the difference is?)
8. Pass. Self-help. Although this is more practical minded than most self-help, it still isn’t something I rep.
9. Pass. Another YA about a prophecy and a chosen one. In addition, the author neglects to include the sample pages I request in my submission guidelines. While they might not have convinced me, you should always give yourself every change to win over an agent, and that includes sending what they ask to see.
10. Pass. A series of books for young children on dealing with difficult situations. Again, these are books pitched for the lessons they impart, not the stories they tell.
11. Pass. Adult fantasy, which is usually a pass anyway, but this one clocks in at over 200,000 words. Way too long for me! (And I don’t just mean length of time to read — I can’t believe that a book that long doesn’t need major pruning.)
12. Pass. YA with definite adult category romance stylings. That said, I don’t get much of a sense of the plot, only the set-up that puts the plot in motion.
13. Taking a closer look. YA sci fi (which seems to be of great interest to me right now!).  Quirky, poking fun at the usual overdone trends, and coming up with something interesting. Worth a closer look.
14. Pass. Women’s fiction based on the author’s own life.  Besides the fact that I don’t represent women’s fiction, I’d not sure opening with the fact that it’s autobiographical is your strongest selling point.
15. Pass. Another women’s fiction. While it’s true I used to look for this, after three years of being open to it, and not finding anything of interest, it’s no longer something I seek, which has been noted on my submissions page for several months, if not a year.
16. Pass. YA sci fi again, but with weak writing.
17. No response. This is a repeat of a query sent four days previously, to which I’d already passed. Even seeing hundreds of queries a month, if not more, I still have a pretty good memory, and if something sounds familiar, I will doublecheck my files to see if I already saw it.
18. No response again, for the same reason. Guys, I know I’ve been behind, but resending a query a week or so after you send it the first time, when my stated response time is within two weeks, just stinks of spamming.
19. Pass. YA ghost story that just feels like I’ve seen it before.
20. Pass. Women’s fiction. Ergo, not a genre I represent.

So there you have it! That’s actually a pretty good sampling of my query inbox — out of 20 emails, I’m taking a closer look at just one. Seven of the queries were for genres I don’t rep, so figure about 35% of my queries are misdirected — but still take time to answer.

With these kind of numbers, why do I still accept queries? Because there are some AMAZING manuscripts in there, and I LOVE finding them. The last three clients I signed — Elizabeth Briggs, Krista Van Dolzer, and Susan Adrian — all came to me via my query inbox. You might be next!

Let’s hit it!

1. MG Historical Sci-Fi
2. YA Paranormal (Angels)
3. YA Fantasy
4. YA Paranormal Thriller
5. YA Paranormal Dark Comedy

6. Adult MBS fiction (no, I don’t rep this)
7. YA Paranormal
8. YA Alt History (Paranormal)
9. “New Adult” literary novel
10. YA Historical literary fiction

11. Adult fiction (genre undefined)
12. YA fantasy
13. YA urban fantasy
14. YA Historical romance
15. YA fiction (genre undefined)

A couple of notes so far: “historical” is anything not set in the present day. So if you’re writing a YA romance set in the 70s or 80s, when you were a teen — that’s considered historical. Also, please don’t make agents guess what kind of a book your novel is. Granted, the two (so far) “genre undefined” novels on this list had a lot of other problems with the queries, but it should be among the first things you write in that letter to an agent — “I have written a [age range] [genre] novel”, i.e I have written a YA historical, middle grade mystery, adult romance. etc. You get the point. Moving on!

16. YA Dystopian
17. YA sports fiction
18. Adult sci-fi
19. MG literary novel
20. MG (but probably YA) “issue” novel

21. YA dystopian
22. YA dystopian
23. Adult fiction (genre undefined)
24. YA fantasy
25. MG Adventure

More later today! Please keep checking back, and let me know if you have any questions in the meantime.

And we’re back!

26. YA contemporary/”New Adult”
27. YA Multicultural fantasy
28. YA MG fantasy
29. YA dystopian
30. YA contemporary

31. YA dystopian
32. Early Chapter Book (don’t represent)
33. MG fantasy (Werewolves)
34. YA urban fantasy
35. MG fantasy

36. Women’s fiction
37. YA urban fantasy
38. YA contemporary
39. YA contemporary romance
40. MG paranormal (Aliens)

41. MG magical realism
42. YA paranormal (Shape Shifting)
43. Adult fantasy
44. YA dystopian
45. YA paranormal

46. YA paranormal (Mermaids)
47. Women’s fiction
48. Adult paranormal
49. YA urban fantasy
50. Adult fantasy

Ok, I’m going to call it there, and get some other work done. But first, let’s do a little tallying, shall we? Out of 50 queries, 31 were for young adult, 9 for middle grade, and 9 for adult, with one early chapter book. 32 queries had some element of the extraordinary — by which I mean paranormal, fantasy, or sci fi of some kind. I was pleasantly surprised to see so many different kinds of paranormals in my mailbox, for once — not just vampires, etc. Although some of the paranormals without a notation next to them had multiple extraordinary creatures, least you think I was getting lonely for witches or dragons.

And on the up side, I moved 7 queries to my other inbox for a closer read — of those, I may request partials on two, at most. Still, a good day’s work!

1. This query focused almost entirely on the author, with almost nothing about the book except the pages, which didn’t hold my attention.
2. Not really a query, more of a request for information on querying. May I point out my submissions page, which has all that information?
3. Literary adult fiction. Not for me. Also, the query focused on theme, not plot, which turns me off.
4. Well written query, but a topic too close to something that’s already being done by one of my clients.
5. Paranormal romance that felt too category to me than break-out Women’s Fiction.

6. This was an interesting one. I went from not being interested in the query, to somewhat intrigued. Then I got to the sample pages, and lost interest. Reading queries can be a bit of a roller coaster ride, guys.
7. Another YA novel that’s just a little too close to something one of my clients is already working on.
8. Paranormal YA again, with an element that reads as extremely overdone to me, without anything that might distinguish it from the countless other YAs out there like it.
9. This was too short to be true MG, and the writing was too unpolished to place in this market. When you’re writing for early readers, the language needs to be PERFECT. In essence, you’re helping kids learn to read — don’t you want them to get it right?
10. Wow, this is getting repetitive: another novel that reads JUST LIKE one of my clients’ books. Not just in theme and rough outline, but in plot details (although not all of them). Also, unless you’re a packager, telling me you’re “developing a series” isn’t as compelling, EVER, as “written a manuscript.”

11. This one was adult, which is always a more difficult play for my attention, and the genre felt more like a mystery than the women’s fic stuff I’m looking for.
12. Darker historical fiction than I want to do. And again, adult, which only consists of about 5% of everything I’m looking to represent.
13. Vampire novel that, I must be honest, sounds like several dozen other vampire novels I’ve seen recently. It’s tough, because there are SO MANY vamp novels out there right now, and people still seem to want to read them, but agents and editors are almost completely fatigued by them.
14. Prophecy in another paranormal YA. Even with unique elements, it still feels like too much else out there.
15. Long book description that confused me at several points as I read through it, and perhaps a little too cruel or mean for my taste. Also, adult.

16. Hey, look! More vampires.
17. This query spent more time telling me how the book was written than showing me plot or characters. Also, the author repeatedly touted a similarity to an author I don’t much care for. (No, I’m not going to say which one.) But it points out the risk of thinking too much about a Hollywood-esque pitch, instead of concentrating on the story.
18. This one takes some of the overused tropes from YA paranormal and applies it to an adult book.
19. Four paragraphs into the query before I’m told anything about a character. Also, sent too many sample pages, which means the author either can’t or chose not to follow directions.
20. Adult nonfiction, which probably makes up only 1% of stuff I rep. Also, the tone of the query was way too conversational — I don’t know the author, he doesn’t know me, and “hey, check this out,” doesn’t work as a professional introduction by a serious writer.

21. Hey, that sounds kind of like Mass Effect, which I’m currently playing (again). But not as cool.
22. Kind of like a recent kids’ bestseller turned movie, but as if the author thought it wasn’t enough, and doubled-down on the “stuff” in it. Also, no sample, and without the actual pages to make a decision, it’s super easy to say no.
23. Another YA paranormal — not vampires this time, but still very familiar-sounding.
24. MG that seemed too twee — as if the author were writing down to kids, instead of for them.
25. Self-pubbed success story that seeks representation now, but doesn’t actually tell me anything about the book.

26. It starts with “Dear Agent Who Is Not Me” and takes 8 sentences of book description to get to the first of two titular heroes. From a non-nitpicky perspective, the writing is just didn’t work for me.
27. A bit of a gimmicky concept, which some might read as a hook, but for me, the plot behind the concept just didn’t feel fresh.
28. Adult nonfiction which might be interesting to read, but isn’t for me to represent.
29. This one hit one of my wish list categories, but the sample pages didn’t have characters or writing that compelled me to read on.
30. YA that isn’t, and a subplot that hits one of my big “don’t really care” buttons. That’s cruel, but if it’s your plot pont, you want your agent to care passionately, not think, “well, maybe if you lost that whole part.”

31. Comedic YA that would entirely depend on voice and writing to sell, but without pages, it’s just not enough to convince me.
32. A genre I don’t rep, which gets my form “Dear Author, I don’t represent this genre” response.
33. A book for a pre-existing series, as if the author decided since there weren’t any more Nancy Drew mysteries, he would write one. That’s not the way series publishing works, unfortunately. Could maybe work for another agent if the series elements were taken out, though.
34. A repeat query of one of the previous 33, without mention of it being a repeat. I know I’m a little behind in my queries, but the way to get a response isn’t to send a whole new query. When I fall behind my stated two-week response time, if I haven’t said anything particular in my blog or twitter about being behind, and you feel you NEED to find out what’s going on, you should send a email responding to your original message, so the conversation is threaded. Of course, what gmail will do is update the conversation with the date of the most recent message, so that instead of getting to your original query dated August 16th first, for example, I won’t get to it until I’m up to queries from September 9th. So maybe you could be patient instead? Thanks.
35. “Non-fiction novel”? No.

36. I think this is a novel, but I have no idea what it’s about. Also, authors, if you want to write under a pseudonym, fine, but your agent needs to know your real name. That’s what the checks will be made out to. It literally doesn’t pay to hide that.
37. You know, I’ve been feeling pretty negative today. Let’s change that. This novel, which the author calls YA but I think is MG, gets a request. It has several plots which pique my interest. We’ll see.
38. The writing on this felt very immature, and authors, if the first few pages of your book aren’t good enough to send, get back to working on them before you query. Don’t send a sample from chapter 21!
39. This YA novel is about half as long as it probably should be. Practically a short story. Also, started with a rhetorical question, which is always a turn-off. In any case, I’d say the author needs to go back and rethink what she’s submitting.
40. Another YA paranormal, with another well-trod plot device. On a related note, have you seen Leila Sales’ column in Publishers Weekly about the Dead Parent Syndrome? Worth a read!

And on that note, I’m going to close up this Live Blog for today. I need to get some real work done before I go pick up my little munchkin (who actually has THREE parents) from school.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Shoe recommendations for a pregnant lady who has to go to a wedding next month?

1. A story of fallen angels and a long war for redemption. Also, starts with a dream/character waking up. Not unique enough to make the cut.
2. And… my brain just exploded. Every thing you’re not supposed to do, this querier just did. Epic fantasy, misspellings, bad grammar, etc.
3. Adult chick lit, about a wife pondering what happened to her life. Some intriguing quirkiness, but not enough to want to see more.
4. You recall my post from last week about destiny and fate? This query uses those same old crutches.
5. A revised query for a novel previously declined. My no still stands, but I’ve invited the author to try me again with something new. To be fair, you all have the same invitation.

6. Another high fantasy YA novel, this one tells me more than I want to know about the action and the cast of quirky characters, without actually getting into the main character’s personality.
7. Women’s paranormal romance about, yes, vampires. But a different kind of vampire! Still, no thanks. My interest in women’s fiction is for more mainstream fiction, not mass market romance.
8. I honestly don’t know what this is supposed to be. It seems like a picture book, until you add in an older teenager, and tell me it’s over 80,000 words. Also, no pages attached, so I can’t get a better sense of what this is. Easier to just say no.
9. Adult nonfiction about a historical event. Not remotely in my areas of interest to represent.
10. Another book that the author thinks is something other than it is. Before you query and tell me your novel is YA or MG, please go to your local bookstore and LOOK at the books in those sections. Better yet, READ some of them. And then realize that, no, less than 10,000 words is not a middle grade novel.

11. A Christian memoir is also not in my areas of interest.
12. This one was almost a request. Intriguing premise and compelling plot, but when I found myself having to check on the main character’s sex, I realized I wasn’t getting the in-depth character development I’d want to go along with the rest.
13. A novel about archetypes! I’d rather read about great characters than character types. Also, not in my areas of interest.
14. While possibly a book I’d be interested in reading, this query isn’t something I’d want to represent. And truly, the author doesn’t want me to represent it. If you have a medical problem, do you ask a banker for advice? No. There’s reasons agents state their areas of interest, and it’s not just to be difficult. It’s because those are where our specialties and our contacts are. Otherwise, you’re asking me to find a whole new area of expertise, and wouldn’t you rather find an agent who’s already a specialist?
15. This MG novel looks cute, but just didn’t grab me.

16. An unfinished novel without pages — or, in fact, any description of the plot or characters. Wow — make it hard for me, why don’t you?
17. Serious (previously self-published) nonfiction on a serious subject. Not for me.
18. Adult sci-fi in a future America isn’t for me.
19. Dark YA paranormal. I just didn’t connect with the writing.
20. An MG mystery, which is a genre I’d love to represent, but the writing didn’t compel.

21. Intrigue, espionage, and politics — no, no, and no thanks. As an aside, can I just say a word of thanks to those writers who actually READ my submission guidelines, and follow my blog, and actually target material to me appropriately? I wish I didn’t have to dig through those writers who don’t read guidelines or the hundreds of thousands of words I’ve written on my blog in order to get to the ones who do.
22. MG novel with an important lesson for readers. Not for me. I don’t want to hear about the lesson you intend to convey — I only care about the story, and this one doesn’t seem very well-written.
23. Oh dear god. Almost 300,000 words. I’m absolutely certain you can edit that down, especially if you intend it to appeal to a YA audience.
24. Intern Jenny passes along an intriguing YA paranormal she likes. It’s intriguing to me, too, so we ask for a partial. Great teen voice.
25. Hard sci-fi. Looks to be well-written, and the author’s personality comes across well in the query, but it’s not really for me.

26. Cute concept for a MG, but I didn’t fall in love with the writing.
27. Another YA paranormal. The problem with so many of these is that there are SO MANY of these, it’s hard for any one to stand out unless it’s extraordinary.
28. Same notes as for #27. See how that works?
29. MG fantasy, in which the query throws TOO MUCH at me, so that it’s impossible to shift through and find the main idea.
30. I could have stopped reading at “literary novel”, but I got to the cocaine and alcohol binge before giving up.

31. I don’t actually know what this IS, and I’m not going to waste time trying to figure it out.
32. New age book. Not for me.
33. YA, but the writing doesn’t feel publishable to me.
34. A picture book, which I don’t represent.
35. Another epic YA fantasy. I think these are hard to do well — too often, they read as a D&D adventure, and that doesn’t interest me.

36. I love the idea of this one, but unfortunately, the writing doesn’t match the promise of the plot.
37. An adult thriller, aka an easy no.
38. MG adventure, without pages, but I’m intrigued enough by the plot as described that I’ve asked for a partial anyway.
39. A beach read type of book, but the writing didn’t seem strong enough to place.
40. Adult fantasy? Maybe? Hard to tell, plus, absolutely no description of any characters.

I’m going to take a break here, and try to spend the afternoon reading some other stuff, including client manuscripts and partials. As always, I hope you found this peak behind the curtain of my form rejections helpful. Any questions?

1. First query is not personalized and is for a genre I don’t represent. It’s at least not bcc’ed to a host of agents, though, so it will get a response. Not off to a good start here, folks.
2. YA fantasy that I think could do with a few more rounds of edits. Not quite ready for primetime.
3. I like the idea of this next YA better than the execution.
4. This one just didn’t keep my interest.
5. “Fiction Novel” is redundant. And while the author has some credits, I don’t think this YA works for me.

6. Nonfiction that is somewhat within my interests, but just not quite right for me.
7. Self-help. An instant no.
8. YA paranormal — in a crowded field, a query needs to really stand out. This doesn’t.
9. Adult sci-fi, which is a category I might pick up to read for pleasure, but don’t represent.
10. Nine exclamation marks in the first two paragraphs of this query, and no attached pages. Without a sample to read, this comes across as a pastiche of cliches.

11. Contemporary YA, from an author with prior small press credits. This didn’t seem big enough to me.
12. Just short of 6,000 words, this doesn’t seem to fit in any category I represent. Unless the word count is a typo, which isn’t a good sign. No sample pages.
13. A query for multiple books, for which the author gives very dry, short synopses without any character or drive. No sample pages.
14. My first request of the day! Contemporary YA with an intriguing twist on the fish-out-of-water, new-kid-in-school plot.
15. I sometimes feel bad about having to decline an author’s very personal story, but when the writing is not there, I have to. This author could do with a crash course in the right way to search for an agent.

16. A love quadrangle with a Mary Sue-ish M.C. — in a depressed, suicidal kind of way.
17. An easy decline, though hard to find the author’s name. Why? Because they didn’t include it in the query, or in their email address.
18. Why are you including another agent’s comments on your book in your query to me? If they liked it so much, they would be representing it, and you wouldn’t be writing to me. Consider this a subheading under my “don’t include blurbs” advice.
19. No sample pages, so all I can go on is the very short, cliched query letter to decline. Also, no title mentioned.
20. The query reads as high fantasy, but the tone of the pages is completely different. Not, I think, for me.

21. Women’s fiction in the chick lit, screwball vein. I didn’t fall in the love with the writing, unfortunately.
22. Middle grade fiction with a wiser-than-her-years heroine. Tough to make stand out in the market.
23. Historical novel that the author pitches out of my area of interest, despite teenaged heroine. No sample pages.
24. Possibly interesting idea, but no pages, so I decline. There’s a reason I ask for sample pages, and it’s not to make you jump through hoops. It’s because writing a query is a different skill than writing a novel, and I want to know you can do BOTH.
25. Religious thriller, AKA not for me.

26. Women’s fiction with a dark tone — probably publishable, but not for me.
27. It just seems like there’s too much going on in here, and I had a hard time following the pages.
28. Killer opening line of this query, but I feared it might be too similar in theme to another novel I represent, and the pages didn’t convince me to read on anyway.
29. Unfinished manuscript of a novel — never a good sign for a new author. A couple of other comments made in the query convinced me it’s not ready.
30. You know how when you’re in a bookstore browsing, and you like what you read on the back cover of a book, you sometimes then flip to the first pages to see how things start? Well, if those pages are blank, you’re going to go on to another book. In other words: no sample pages.

31. Repeatedly telling me how funny and witty a book is, without any proof or pages, is an easy way to get me to decline. Show, don’t tell!
32. A resubmission I didn’t request gets a repeated no. Unless I *ask* for you to revise and resubmit, please consider my decision to decline as permanent.
33. If your purpose in writing a novel isn’t to entertain or tell a story, but to teach something, then maybe you should stick to teaching. Kids know when they’re being force-fed a lesson. The best books enlighten without forgetting to entertain as well.
34. I’m seeing a lot of “contemporary fantasy” that I would categorize as sort of future-tech thrillers. Which I don’t represent.
35. Another Mary Sue character, another decline.

All right, I think my vision is starting to blur. I can usually get through more queries than this in a day, but not when I’m also blogging them. Thanks for tuning in! If you have any questions, leave ‘em in the comments!

1. I like the idea of this, but the writing seemed unnecessarily gory, and I worried about the likability of the MC.
2. Not really my genre — call it lad lit, if you will.
3. Women’s Fiction that takes a pinch of multiple cliches and combines it with a dash of spiritualism. Not for me. I’ll admit the use (and lack thereof) of commas was a deterrent as well.
4. Again, writers, it’s more than ok to round up or down your word count. 58, 979 can be 59,000. For reals. Otherwise, this just seems like too much to me.
5. I feel like I’m seeing a lot of past lives/time travel romances. Is that just me? The writing on this didn’t sell me on the difficult concept to nail.

6. Another trope — the teen girl who moves to a new school, finds mysterious boyfriend, gets involved in something paranormal. Not saying it can’t work, but it needs to be SPECTACULAR, not just reminiscent of other books.
7. I imagine it’s tough to query me on women’s fiction — I’ve read a lot, but represented few. I do know I prefer humor to pathos, and would rather read something happy than sad. This is a little too much of the later.
8. This should interest me, but for some unable-to-quantify reason, just doesn’t. Totally not the author’s fault. Just goes to show how very personal this business is.
9. Another time travel romance, this one women’s fiction. Feels more category than break-out to me.
10. I’m afraid the writing just isn’t up to par in this memoir.

11. Once again, authors, don’t pitch your book by demeaning other stuff out there in the marketplace. No one likes the guy who snarks on everyone. I’m all about the positivity, please.
12. Sure, it’s possible that you’re so overwhelmed by the pressure of writing a good query that everything you learned about grammar and spelling go out the window. But I want to work with authors who consistently know how to write.
13. Interesting idea, but completely overwritten. Be wary of extra adjectives, and try not to go crazy with the thesaurus, ok? Rexroth has a favorite quote: “Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule.”
14. Recovery memoir. Definitely not for me.
15. Also out of my interests. Well, I suppose this could be considered women’s fiction, in a pinch, but it’s again on the depressing side of things.

16. An offer of a revised manuscript, which I decline. Unless I specifically ask to see a revision, trust me, you’re better off taking my no as final, and taking your revised manuscript on a fresh, new round of submissions.
17. A first novel that feels like exactly that. Very rough, and the author could use the benefit of knowledge that SCBWI offers to its members to learn how to submit, as well as the boundaries of certain categories within the children’s book world.
18. Please don’t tell me about the lessons the characters learn. Tell me about the story.
19. A request! Middle grade with a voice that jumps off the page. It may help that I can perfectly picture the scene the author sets in the first few pages, having been where she describes, but it’s the voice that entices me to read more.
20. Again, this decision is based on voice — in this case, the narrative voice doesn’t work for me.

21. I think some authors use a Mad Libs formula to draft queries. Take one [orphaned/abandoned/lonely] teen who moves to a new [school/town/country] and always felt [ordinary/overlooked] until [he/she] suddenly discovers [special powers/love/secret mission/destiny]. Rinse and repeat. Yes, ok, you could use that formula to tell the story of several very popular novels — but you want yours to STAND OUT, right? So be original!
22. Action thriller. Not for me.
23. Repeated query for a screenplay, which I declined last week. Also, I don’t represent screenplays.
24. I think I’d like reading this book for fun, but I’m not in love enough to represent.
25. I imagine there’s more than a few agents on the lookout for wacky Southern fiction. If that’s al it is, however, I don’t think I’m one of them.

26. Just didn’t feel the writing was where it needed to be in this YA novel. Also, authors should beware the ellipses, except in speech — and there, use it only sparingly.
27. I like the writing here, but the plot feels like it’s been done to death already, with comparisons to a couple of books I didn’t exactly love.
28. An interesting idea, but the writing’s not where it needs to be.
29. Beginnings are tough, but that’s where you can win or lose a reader. This one didn’t nab my attention.
30. I feel like I’ve seen this plot a dozen or more times recently, and the writing doesn’t stand out enough for me.

[Ok, taking a break for lunch and errand-running. Will do my best to finish my queries later this afternoon.]

[And we're back!]
31. Quirky, funny voice, but it feels similar (in tone if not in plot) to a current client’s work. No, but something I could easily see getting picked up elsewhere.
32. Just not compelled by the plot, and I’m put off by a narrator that speaks directly to the reader.
33. Middle grade plot with possibilities, but the writing felt a bit like talking down to the audience.
34. The writing isn’t polished enough, and the plot feels like a mishmash of several other MG tropes.
35. I tripped over the hook on this queries, which featured a plethora of incompatible verb tenses. I’m not the world’s best copyeditor, but do be sure to read your query aloud before sending it off, and make sure it sounds right.

36. Chick lit that feels somewhat like the Shopaholic books — in that the hapless heroine seems to fall into all sort of manner of scrapes. I like reading the books, but all too often they leave me feeling too frustrated for words.
37. I’ve been sitting here trying to express how to work my reason for declining this one, but nothing comes to mind. it’s fine, I guess, just doesn’t do anything for me.
38. I do usually like post-apocalyptic stories, but I didn’t love the voice in this one.
39. A big ole “no” on many levels: illustrated, self-published, handwritten, with blurbs from readers… please don’t make me go on.
40. Funny: this is the second query in a week featuring a MC with the same rare condition. I requested the previous one, which was YA — this is adult, and doesn’t quite measure up.

41. Getting near the end. Woot! The language in this MG just feels slightly awkward, and again features the lone child who can save a world.
42. Query from an obviously accomplished writer, but it’s literary fiction, and not for me.
43. You’d think an English teacher would catch an obvious mistake in the first sentence of their query, but you’d be wrong. I’d debate the point that just because you work with kids, you know how to write for them. It helps, certainly, but it’s not the only qualification.
44. Ok, so no one’s saying you can’t take a concept someone else may have tried and make it your own. But I would steer away from using familiar “x meets y” analogies to describe your story when someone else has already used them. The Luxe is known as Gossip Girl in the Golden Age, for instance. Find another way to tell me about your pitch.
45. Great concept, but the writing doesn’t keep up.

Ok, so a few short of 50, but the other emails in my query inbox were either questions of a different sort, repeat queries, or response from Intern Jenny on requested partials (she’s reading along with me, but all final decisions are my own). As always, I hope this is helpful! And for those of you keeping track at home, out of 45 queries, I requested one partial.

And I can now report that I am ALL CAUGHT UP, so if you’ve sent an email and did not receive a response, please check your spam filter, and if you still haven’t heard from me, do feel free to resend your query (with a note that it is a resubmission) and I’ll get to it within two weeks.

Honestly, I debated whether or not to participate this time. I have a sizable stack of queries to get to, so the timing is right (sheer percentages indicate that the more queries I have to look at, the more likely some of them will be far off-base or otherwise lessons for others), but that also means a lot of work I should be doing instead of tweeting. There’s also the fear of yet another AgentFail backlash, but I have no control over that. The most I can do — and what I will be doing — is to take my liveblog of my queries to Twitter.

Now, those of you who follow me already will be pleased to know I’m not going to tweet EVERY SINGLE QUERY. Why? A) it takes a lot of time, and not every query is going to give me something useful to say that would help others improve their own query. B) it gets annoying to followers to see a stream of tweets filling up your homepage when you’re probably also trying to stay in touch with family, friends, and other people.

As per Colleen’s rules for the day, I’m also going to be answering questions about publishing — both those sent directly to me at @DaphneUn, and those posted to any agents participating in #queryday.

So strap in for some educational posting (with a small side of snark), and let’s go!

Now!

1. Close to the type of nonfiction I like, but I don’t get the sense from the cover letter that the writing is humorous enough for me.
2. A combo morality-and-plot-driven series for adults, that I can’t imagine where it might fit on a publisher’s list, or in a bookstore.
3. Urban fantasy for adults that has an intriguing concept, but I didn’t connect with the plot.
4. Good writing, but I wasn’t engaged by the characters. But I wouldn’t mind seeing more from the writer, and I said as much in my response.
5. Quest-based fantasy doesn’t sit well with me.

6. More high fantasy, this time for adults. Not for me.
7. YA novel of werewolves and vampires at war, with the heroine the only one who can end it. Nothing I haven’t seen before countless times.
8. Novel that feels translated, and too young. Not that there’s anything wrong with a translated novel, when it’s done well, but this is very rough.
9. Interesting idea, but I didn’t believe it was well executed. Folks, remember to check your letters for typos and other mistakes, such as “TITLE is a 76,000 word novel called TITLE”.
10. Argh! The same query sent FIVE times within two weeks. Amazingly, I already have a set response to this. It goes something like this: “I can no longer take time from authors who do track their queries to respond repeatedly to those that don’t.” This author’s email address goes on my spam list.

11. Adult literary fiction, with a thriller aspect — in either case, not my genres.
12. YA fiction with interesting bits, but just didn’t connect with me personally.
13. Another YA novel, but this felt a little too serious for me. Again, just a matter of my personal taste.
14. I’m seeing a lot of women’s fiction with a wife/mother who has a perfect life until it all goes wrong. This one doesn’t stand out for me from the pack.
15. The literary equivalent of a raunchy sex comedy movie — with heart. Not for me.

16. YA thriller that might appeal if the writing were stronger. Unfortunately, not for me.
17. A plethora of examples of what not to do, including attachments. But mostly just the wrong genre.
18. Cliche-filled YA “fiction novel.” Not to continue to harp on that phrase, but in writing, when each word you chose should be the perfect one to convey your meaning, not knowing that you’re being repetitive in adding “fiction” to the already appropriate noun “novel” speaks to a level of ability that I’m not sure will be successful in this difficult market.
19. A repeated query, but this time, the author clearly states that it is a repeat, and that he did not get a response to his earlier email. I resend my original reply.
20. Not a huge fan of the novel told only in dialogue. I think you cheat yourself out of some quality description.

21. Trying to hide your novel’s twist by spelling a character’s name backwards doesn’t speak too well of your sense of the intelligence of your readers. Or the character’s.
22. I can’t overemphasize the importance of creating characters I want to know more about from the very first page. In reading this sample, I just wasn’t draw in enough to want to read more.
23. A request! Paranormal women’s fiction with a time constraint. An interesting concept that makes me want to see more.
24. See above #14.
25. A checklist of chick lit cliches — which works for some, but doesn’t help this manuscript stand out for me.

26. Too cutesy for me.
27. A travel memoir, a genre I love to read. I’m requesting the manuscript, and hope it lives up to my expectations.
28. I think sometimes I’m a wimp, because I don’t like unduly harsh beginnings. I also worry that this manuscript focuses too much on morals and themes at the expense of story.
29. Without sample pages to assuage my concerns that this manuscript is too twee, I can only decline.
30. Character wakes up in opening line. Besides that, the writing feels very raw.

31. Reads as introspective literary fiction, rather than the more plot-driven novels I like to represent.
32. Again, genre fiction that reads like several other examples of novels in that same genre, without standing out from the pack.
33. Chick lit with cute concept, but for me, the execution lacks something. Some zing.
34. Women’s fiction that, again, emphasizes lessons and moral rather than plot.
35. A query from an author who has sent four other queries to me in the past year. Having read previous samples and declined, I’m not convinced this one will work for me either.

(Ok, time for a break. There’s packing to do! More this afternoon.)

Woot! And we’re back! Still got a bunch of stuff to do before I go, but I will do my best to get through a few more queries today and possibly tomorrow on the plane, if I can get Gmail Offline to work appropriately. Otherwise (and I will pull this out in a separate post), please consider that any queries sent between March 19th and April 1st will not be looked at until April 2nd, at the earliest. I would consider it a great kindness if you just held off on any submissions during that period, and waited until April 2nd to email them.

36. YA novel featuring a supernatural love story and a “chosen one.” Doesn’t feel original enough to me.
37. Memoir that’s not up my alley. Personal tales are all well and good, if your story is of interest to others. In this case, it’s not of interest to me, specifically.
38. A little too young for me — an early chapter book submission.
39. Possibly something I might like to read, but not represent. It’s an ever changing line. Fantasy.
40. Women’s fiction that makes me worry for the sanity of the main character. While I’ve read some fiction I’d term “uncomfortable,” like watching an episode of “The Office,” it’s not my first choice.

41. Again, a novel I would find difficult to place. Feels somewhat dated, but might work as a thriller if updated — but then, I don’t do thrillers.
42. Science fiction, where I didn’t think the writing held up against the concept.

1. Historical, but it put me off with a too-young heroine for the action in the story.
2. A sort of action-adventure memoir, just not to my tastes.
3. Literary YA, which was pitched with more emphasis on language and theme than on story. May be brilliant, but not for me.
4. High concept adult fiction, not exactly in my interest range.
5. Well-written and appealing, but too close in concept to a novel I already represent.
6. The tone of the query letter, which was echoed in the first three pages, didn’t connect with me.
7. This one struck me as a collection of short stories that were more about a theme than a story. Also, probably more literary than my tastes.
8. This next one is pretty high fantasy, and the intricately plotted world building didn’t capture my attention.
9. Paranormal that felt a little too overwritten for me.
10. This query didn’t fit into any of my stated interests, and seemed more spiritually bent than interests me.
11. Science fiction, told in a narrative voice from the future looking back at the actions of his own past, that felt too removed from the story for me.
12. Very amateurish, I’m afraid, and not a subject that interests me to represent.
13. I understand the impetus when researching agents to just throw everything out there and see if it sticks, but I think you can quickly find on my website a number of times where I’ve said I’m not interested in representing literary fiction. By sending it to me anyway, all you’re proving is that you’re not much for research, and why do I want to work with someone who has such little regard for my time?
14. Something different — a query for a job instead of a book. While I appreciate the offer of free readers I could farm manuscripts out to, I’m not looking to do so at this time.
15. You know how sometimes when you watch Gilmore Girls, you get so caught up in the language and the superfast talking and the wittiness, and suddenly you stop and realize most people don’t sound like that? The narrative voice in this query sounds like that. It’s too much for me.
16. Oooh, this one interests me. A rough plot that sounds familiar, but looks to be explored in a different than usual way, and a pithy descriptive comment in the opening pages that sings to me.
17. The writing in this one didn’t feel strong enough to me.
18. A deeply detailed fantasy world where the characters weren’t as engaging as the setting.
19. Chick lit that covers some very familiar territory. No thanks.
20. This one came across like a tidal wave — instead of trying to interest me in one book, the author pitches a six book series, and caps it off by informing me a fellow agent has requested material. All right then, good luck with them. Not for me.
21. This one felt younger than middle grade to me, and I’m not overly interested in anthropomorphic stories.
22. Coincidentally, this one is also too young for me, and also features animals as main characters.
23. Male-oriented commercial fiction. Also, I’ll say it again, even if you have a self-published cover to show off, don’t.
24. I feel like I’ve seen a lot of guardian angel plotlines lately. Here’s another. Also try to avoid cliched ways to start your story — main character waking up, getting dressed, describing him or herself by looking in a mirror, etc.
25. Mainstream romance that feels more like category than something that would stand out in the general market to me.
26. Vampire novel with a twist, but not enough to convince me it could stand out.
26. Middle grade novel that has a lot of dialogue in the opening pages, which makes it tough to get a handle on the characters. Also, they do a lot of “telling” about the action, rather than showing it.
27. I’m not even quite sure how to describe this one. But you know how manipulated you can feel as a tv-viewer sometimes, when a show begins with an opening action scene and then flashes back to “72 Hours Earlier” or what have you? And you know a part of how everything’s going to end up because you’ve seen it already? Why would you want to do that with a book?
28. Another request! Urban fantasy with an uncommon mythic retelling. I’m curious to know more.
29. An interesting idea and theme, but I didn’t feel the writing was strong enough. Also, another opening with the protagonist describing themselves while staring into a mirror.
30. Billed as a fairy tale, this query seems to hew too closely to that label. The fairy tale retellings that are selling right now infuse modern sensibilities or unique perspectives on the traditional stories. This just feels like an unknown traditional tale. Does that make sense?
(Small pause for lunch. Back in a bit!)
(And we’re back!)
31. Hey wow, ANOTHER character introducing himself by looking in a mirror. Also, I’ve said before, I’m not especially interested in the kind of fantasy adventure I could play in a D&D campaign.
32. Memoir without a hook that appeals to me.
33. Paranormal fantasy — but I prefer my paranormal with humor, not just a dash of romance. Others, I’m sure, may disagree.
34. This romance does have some humor, but I still feel like I know exactly what’s going to happen. I like a little bit more surprise in a novel.
35. Another vampire novel. Not that this is my only reason for declining, but guys, make sure you check your queries for spelling and punctuation mistakes. It speaks to your professionalism.
36. I just read a fascinating interview with four other literary agents, in which one of them said that that for him or her (this part of the interview was anonymous), “maybe” equals “no.” Now, for me, maybe isn’t always no, but without sample pages, maybe is rarely if ever going to mean yes.
37. This one speaks to the attention you need to pay to writing a synopsis. Yes, it’s a different skill set than writing a book, but if I’m lost in trying to follow a two-paragraph description of your book, you’re not going to get the chance to intrigue me with your presumably more-carefully crafted prose.
38. Another fantasy novel that just doesn’t sing out to me. A good reminder that an agent’s reaction is extremely personal, and there may not be any just “reason” behind the reaction.
39. This next one reads as featuring a very doormat-y kind of heroine, and I just dislike those. Even when they finally stand up for themselves, I end up wishing they would have done it 300 pages earlier!
40. Wow — no. A humor book that manages to insult me. I don’t think so.
41. High concept middle grade, but I’m not convinced.
42. Ummm.. I… that is… I don’t even know what this is. I kind of wish I could erase from my mind the memory of even reading this query. And the author calls is a “true story.” No.
43. An inspirational YA novel — I worry sometimes that calling something inspirational means you’ve sacrificed story for theme. In this case, the plot didn’t hook me.
44. Autobiographical stories — definitely not for me. Also, please try to spell my name correctly.
45. Another guardian angel story. The writing definitely isn’t here for me.
46. And, once again, we open with the protagonist looking in a mirror. I’m not saying it’s always bad, but it IS cliched, and you should be aware of that. Don’t you want your query to stand out? Besides that, I just didn’t feel a connection to the characters.
47. My third request. Some similarity to a previously published book that I enjoyed, but I’m intrigued enough to want to read more.
48. Historical novel, but I feel that what’s working in historicals lately is either a touch of paranormal, or a new perspective on a known historical figure. This has neither. Also, the creation of a fake country to set it in makes me wonder if the author just didn’t feel like doing the research to set the story somewhere real. There seems no other reason to create a new country.
49. This gives me hope. I got through 48 queries without any repeats, but #49 here is the third time the author has queried me on the same project (rejected twice before), not mention two other projects which I’ve also rejected. I haven’t even been in business for a year. Do the math.
50. Category romance. Again, nothing wrong with it, and it might even be something I’d enjoy reading on vacation, but not something I’m looking to represent.
51. Intriguing concept, but I found the execution somewhat lacking.
52. An adult action/adventure novel, which isn’t a genre I represent. I feel bad if there’s a book or website out there that says I’m interested in genres I’m not, but that’s why you have to find multiple sources of information.
53. Another multi-book query. Even if you hope to build a series off a title, I still think it’s best to sell the first book first, rather than convince an agent or publisher to take on three or four books by an unknown quantity at once.
54. This one is commercial fiction that seems to touch on all manner of issues. Not for me.
55. The voice in this middle grade novel doesn’t match the historical setting.
(Only six more!!)
56. *runs screaming away from the computer* *comes back after she’s calmed down* People, what did I tell you about writing your queries from the perspective of your characters? Oh yeah, I said DON’T. Too bad, because this was an intriguing concept.
57. A paranormal YA query from a YA — one of the reasons I mention the author’s age is because she does, and it shows. Look, you don’t have to tell me how old you are in your query. Unless you think I’ll be so impressed by your prowess at such a young age that I’ll disregard your lack of writing experience and years spent studying the craft of writing. Well, here’s a secret — you still need to be brilliant. And prowess at 18 isn’t the same as skill at 28, or 32, or 45.
58. I may talk to my dogs, but I don’t want to read your pet’s memoirs. No thanks.
59. This one features a strange metaphor for the life of a teenager. Just.. odd. Not intriguing.
60. There needs to be a balance, even in an adventure novel, between character and action. I didn’t feel anything for the character here.
And finally, an easy one to end on:
61. A book of poetry. Not for me.
So that’s clears out all the queries I’ve received since I reopened for business on the 5th. I’ll do my best to get back to people who sent emails while I was on vacation as time permits.