I am a big fan of social networking. No matter what I’m doing or where I am, I have my phone close by so I can check in with my twitter or facebook account to stay up to date on everything. I know it’s important to build a following, and to meet and talk about things with literary agents and fellow writers, but I am also scared that I am going to put off some of the agents I really love by being so accessible at all times and always commenting on their statuses and twitter updates.

How do we find the balance? I feel like the internet can really help my career, but I don’t want to overdo it.

In other words, Am I stalking my future agent?

Are you? Probably not. The wonderful thing about Twitter and Facebook is that the interaction is gated, to a degree. As agents, heck, as PEOPLE, we want to be followed, and friended. We’re choosing to interact with authors and readers, and that means two-way interaction. That being said, there are structures in place with both that allow agents and other public figures a remove, if we need it. On Twitter, for instance, someone can’t send me a direct message if I’m not following them. And I only see @ replies to me if I choose to go look at them (which I do, regularly, but the structure is there to avoid them if need be). On Facebook, I have to accept a friend request to give permission to view and comment on my status updates. If I don’t want someone to see those anymore, I can un-friend them — although that phrase brings to mind all sorts of squeaky girl trauma about breaking up with your best friend, and stuff like that. Anyway, moving on…

But you don’t want to be that person you gets blocked on Twitter or de-friended on Facebook, do you? Of course not. So what to do? Well, let’s go with a stalker analogy. Are you sharing a walk home with someone because you’re interested in what they have to say, and having a dialogue, or are you following them home from a distance, watching them through binoculars, and pawing through their trash to find out more about them? Are you commenting on their updates because something about them connects with you, or just to reply, to remind them that you exist? Social networking conversations, great as they are, aren’t actual conversations. No one minds a little silence, and not everyone involved in the conversation needs to have input into it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love comments of all sorts — on my blog, on Facebook, and in @ replies on Twitter. But the ones that work best for me are the ones with something to say, that add something meaningful to the conversation. If you’re doing that, then you’re cool by me.

So what’s too much? Well, there’s nothing wrong with reading every update, but save your comments and replies for the ones that matter.

What do you think? Where’s the line between interacting online and over-indulging?

1. Have a professional or a dedicated amateur take your picture.
2. Use a white background, or at least a neutral one. No trees! No snowstorms!
3. The idea of having your significant other in the picture is a good one, at least in terms of maintaining peace in the presence of a jealous or nervous spouse. But the thing is, I’m not friending your girlfriend, I’m friending you. I’d vote for the picture to be solo.
4. If you are wearing a hat, you better have both a good reason and a good hat.
5. I totally understand that you are shy, modest and self-effacing. But sabotaging your photo is not a good way to communicate that. We just assume you’re a dork.
6. Conceptual photos (your foot, a monkey wearing glasses) may give us insight into the real you, but perhaps you could save that insight for the second impression.

Do take a look at the full list.

I’ve also got avatars on the brain because of a tweet I read earlier this morning, courtesy of Ron Hogan of GalleyCat, who retweeted, “It’s counterproductive when authors have the cover of their book as their Facebook profile pic.” And yet, not only do I know many authors who do just that, but I’ve recommended that they do.

Think of it. If you’re on Facebook or Twitter, looking at a long list of tweets or updates, which is going to stand out more? Yet another headshot rendered in 50×50 pixels, or that same space taken up by a graphic featuring a book cover you recognize? Discuss!

Do you use your book jacket as your profile pic? If you’re not yet published, would you?

Please consider that any queries sent between March 19th and April 1st will not be looked at until April 2nd, at the earliest. I would consider it a great kindness if you just held off on any submissions during that period, and waited until April 2nd to email them.

I will do my best in the next two days, before I leave for Europe, to get through the rest of the queries currently on my plate, after which I won’t have the opportunity to respond to anyone until April 2nd, at the earliest.

I’m also going to be taking a break from my daily updates of this blog, although I will be tweeting on the road, and those tweets do get shuffled over to Facebook as well. There may be occasional posts here, but nothing regular.

What will you be doing while I’m gone?

• Shoes. Although I must remember to pack some sort of mid-sized heel or walking shoe next time I’m going to be gallivanting around NYC for a week.
• Purple shoes. This deserves a special list entry all its own because it took me months of searching to find a pair for my wedding in April, and now stores everywhere are selling them, in case I need extras.
• My wonderful clients, new (Welcome Karen Hamilton and Ransom Riggs) and old (Maureen Johnson — yes, I called you old, although I’m sure you’d just point out that you are, in fact, two days younger than me) and everywhere in between. I love reading all of your books, and I’m thrilled that, even though I work alone, I work with some of the best people I know.
• Rexroth and Trixie, who, after a long day of my working alone, never fail to make me smile, keep me perky, and are happy to let me babble away with all the words I didn’t get out in my working hours.
• Facebook. I’m grateful to have yet another way of keeping in touch with editors, clients, friends, and family, and seeing what they’re up to all day. I’m also happy that is the complete and inclusive list of people whose friend invites I will accept.
• Manuscripts that keep me up too late. The lack of sleep is so worth it.
• My fantastic subagents, who’ve helped me close deals in Germany, Spain, Italy, and France already this year, and who go to such great efforts for my list. I can’t wait to see you in Bologna in the Spring.
• Bologna in the Spring. Whee!
• My kindle, which has changed the way I work and read.
• Bloggers everywhere who talk about books and keep a literary conversation alive.

What are you thankful for?