Ask Daphne!: August 2008 Archives

Since it's the start of a long holiday weekend, here's an extra bonus Daphne, and a lovely pair of shoes from shoemaker Poetic License for Marina, who asks:

Lately I find myself gravitating toward YA novels in verse (E. Hopkins, Lisa Schroeder, Kirsten Smith, Sonya Sones are favorites). In fact, I'm more than halfway through writing the first draft of my own YA verse novel, and I'm wondering what you think of them. Are you interested in receiving queries for this type of book? Also, what do editors think of them?

As much as I respect the authors you mention, Marina, I gotta be honest. I'm afraid I'm not the best reader for novels in verse. I can see and respect those who've done them well, but I don't think I can judge their quality for myself. I'd love to be proven wrong, of course. Who wouldn't?

This is sort of the same reason why I don't represent picture books. I think it takes a very special eye to look at a picture book manuscript and see a finished book. For a similar reason, I think it takes a special reader to represent or edit a verse novel. I can't help but want more More MORE! More description, more dialogue, more backstory, more prose.

So do feel free to keep writing that novel in verse. They're done well in the past, and I think will continue to do well if the story they tell is done well. Which is basically the same as saying if they're good, they'll do good. And on that barely-verbalized note, I'll call it a day.

Shoes that were given away in a contest for C.C., who writes:

Okay I have written a manuscript and am now trying to find a good publisher. I had a publisher interested but when he found out I was only 14 he kind of stopped writing back. Then I found a web site about the Random House Young Novel writing contest. If I win than I get a paperback and hardcover copy contract and $9000. But if submit my manuscript, I am legally not allowed to send in the novel into anyone else until they pick the winner in roughly 8 months. I was really hoping you could give me some insight on what is a good decision, to submit or not to submit.

Hey there, C.C. First of all, sorry about the other publisher who stopped writing to you. Being a young writer is a tough gig, and you kind of need to be tough about it. I think trying for the Random House contest is a fantastic idea. No, you can't submit anywhere else while your novel is awaiting judgment, but that doesn't mean you can't still be writing.

And that's what you should be doing right now. Writing, writing, writing. I get the impetus to be a published author AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, but as I've said to other young authors, you're not just competing anymore with other writers your age. Being the best writer in your class isn't going to get you anywhere. You're competing for a publishing slot with adults you have spent YEARS perfecting their voice.

So submit to the contest, and spend the time between now and the results working on your writing. As with everything, it takes time and practice to get better. And if you haven't read John Scalzi's advice to young writers, do that now.

Gucci shoes -- or are they knockoffs? -- for Jenny today, who writes:

I'm an unpublished author with a novel almost polished enough to query. Today I stumbled upon a best-selling author's blurb for her next novel due out at the end of the year. It's eerily similar to the premise of mine. I'm a fan of this author, and I haven't seen the premise before today, so I definitely didn't create my own book consciously knowing this one ala Kaavya Viswanathan. I'm worried agents or editors will be reluctant to take my ms on because of the similarities in the premises (both contemporary YA). I'm sure the stories will go in different directions, and the characters seem completely different based on what little information I could find, but since this author is a best-seller and I'm a nobody, will this hurt my chances of publication? Thanks.

This is a tough call, Jenny. I think you'll find -- I hope -- that if you've written a strong enough novel, even if the premise has some similarities to a best-selling author's new book, it will find a home. In fact, you may find certain publishers who may look upon the success of said BSA's book as an opportunity to look for other books in that style -- just to pick a random example, if you'd written a book about the President's daughter just before Meg Cabot's All American Girl came out, some publishers may see the success of an insider's look at the White House and want to find their own.

Now, in this case, I'd think that querying Meg Cabot's publisher, editor, or agent would be right out. But that only limits your options a little.

The other thing to remember is how long it takes the publishing industry to spit out a book. If BSA's new book comes out at the end of the year, and you're only querying your novel now, at the earliest, I would say your book isn't likely to come out before Spring 2010. And that's if it's in PERFECT shape, and you happen to immediately luck onto a great agent, who knows the exact editor who's looking for a contemporary YA novel, AND she's got a spot to fill on her Spring 2010. That's a lot of ifs. The more likely scenario is you start querying, eventually find an agent, eventually sell to an editor, who can find a place for your book maybe in her Fall 2010 list. Maybe Spring 2011. By which point, no doubt the BSA will have published several other books and no one, except certain scholarly reviewers, may note the similarities.

Good luck!

No real reason for these shoes today, except they remind me of a pair I saw this weekend that made me swoon. Moving on! Scott asks:

Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that somebody queried you and you were interested enough to request a partial, but ultimately rejected the manuscript. Does "no" mean "no for ever and ever," or can a major rewrite pique your interest again after some reasonable amount of time has passed? If, say, you reject with a brief comment about characterization or a slow beginning or something like that, could a rewrite convince you to take another look, even if you didn't suggest querying a second time after changes have been made?

And let's say, again hypothetically because I haven't seen your answer to that first set of questions, that you are open to requeries. Should a second query mention that it's a requery and then go on as if it were a first query? Would a brief statement about the types of changes that were made be helpful (as part of a professionally crafted query, of course, because writers should realize you get so many queries and partials that the chances of any writer's rejected work being special enough to be remembered for months or years are pretty much zero)?

Or is no no, meaning requeries on a rejected project are pretty much a waste of your time and ours?

One of those long questions, short answers again: Yes, no means no.

(But here's where I throw in a little hopeful optimism) Unless, of course, I've ASKED for a revision. You mention a comment on the rejection about a specific part of the story. There are times when I might make that comment and add something along the lines of "if you were interested on working on this, I'd be happy to take another look in the future." Now, if I say that, you should definitely requery, and in which case, the requery should indeed mention that fact. I wouldn't necessarily restate the entire first query, but do be sure to mention I liked this enough on the first go around to request a partial, and that I suggested changes and welcomed a resubmission. You needn't include a detailed, multi-page outline of the changes undertaken, but I would try to mention some of the main points, if possible.

I have, in the past, accepted resubmissions that I hadn't asked for, but it would need to be some pretty spectacular changes to make me change my mind. That hasn't happened yet.

I actually wore almost these exact shoes in high school with my uniform, but these go out today to Beth, who writes:

Could you tell us about some of the distinctions between YA and MG? I thought my current manuscript was YA and placed my characters in high school. Everyone who has read it thinks its tone and subject is more MG. I'm certainly willing to listen to their advice, but I'd like to know a bit more about the differences between YA and MG. Also: would me labeling a manuscript as YA be a death knoll for my query if the agent thinks it's better off as MG? And do you think 15 year old characters are too old for an upper MG novel, or should I age down my characters?

Hiya Beth. You're echoing a question that came up a number of times at the Agent's Day conference last weekend. It seems this is confusing stuff for a lot of writers!

Roughly, middle grade or MG fiction is characterized as for readers from 8-12 years old, or at least those reading at that level. Young adult or YA fiction is roughly from 12 and up, although there has been a trend towards labeling something "older" YA to indicate more mature themes, perhaps, which would be 14 and up. Now, there is a lot of crossover potential between these age ranges, and as we all know, we expect kids to read up, so a 12 year old may expect or want to read about a 14 year old.

So, for your 15 year old protagonist, although I would usually characterize a book about his or her adventures as YA, you may certainly find middle grade readers picking it up.

Which isn't helpful, I know, but maybe this is -- can you try leaving off any mention of the terms "MG" or "YA" from your query? Let an agent decide what your book is, and how she can market it to an editor. Yes, she may suggest a change in your protag's age -- so be ready to defend or consider if your story would still work if your MC was 14 -- or 16. Good luck!

Proper British boots for Amy, who writes:

The protagonist in my story is American, so, while I am British, I obviously write her with an American voice. My problem is that since I will be seeking publication in England, I'm unsure as to whether I can stick to using American spelling and grammar for authenticity's sake? This probably has an obvious answer, but there are so many Do's and Don'ts about manuscripts and seeking publication that it's easy to feel confused.

Amy, this may be something an agent there over on the other side of the pond may have a better answer too, but as I don't know any of them that blog, I shall have to do my best!

I think you've set yourself a complicated problem -- the trick would be in keeping your protagonist's voice and thoughts in Americanized English, while keeping the setting and possibly your other characters British. Depending on your p.o.v., this may take the form of an omniscient British narrator with just one American character, or your American character who narrates the whole story reflecting her surroundings in her own voice.

I would try to concentrate on the story, and do your best with keeping your protag's voice American, even if that makes it stand out, and trusting that when you find a publisher, their copyeditor will help you standardize what needs changing.

And bonus to Paul who asked about my stack of queries: I'm all caught up, at least as of late last night. If you sent me a query via email before midnight, August 19th, and haven't gotten a response yet, please feel free to resend.

Ok, so these Louboutin fish shoes aren't truly scary unless you're an Ichthyophobe, but they are kinda cute. And thus for Brenda, who writes:

I'm ashamed to admit that I've put off querying KT Literary with my middle grade novel, because I saw that you want a synopsis with the partial if the query draws your interest. I don't like my synopsis, although my query is good. How important is a synopsis in determining whether or not you request the full? What is the biggest thing you're looking for in one?

I will be perfectly honest here, Brenda, and will pull back the curtain a little on my reading processes.

I used to read everything to the very end, whether I liked it or not. For years, every manuscript got a full read, even if I knew on page two it wasn't for me. Luckily, I wised up to time management, and learned to stop when I knew what my decision was going to be. But that hasn't stopped me wanting to know what's going to happen in something I read.

And so -- I request a full synopsis with your partial so that if I like what I'm reading, like the ideas you've come up with and some of your characters, but I know that I'm going to say "no thanks", I can read the synopsis and be able to come away with a sense of completion. So the biggest thing I'm looking for in a synopsis is a full sense of the action of a book. As I say in my emails to request material, "For our purposes, the synopsis should include the full plot of the book including the conclusion."

The between the lines answer there? If I'm going to request a full, I don't read the synopsis at all. I don't want my reading experience spoiled by knowing what's going to happen, so I guess you could say it's not at all important in determining whether or not I request the full.

I'm heading out to San Francisco this weekend for a one-day conference, where I'll be giving a presentation on query letters. To that end, although my presentation will differ, I thought it might be interesting -- both for my readers and for me -- to break down my reaction to a specific query. Diane wrote in some time ago looking for help with her letter. While it's not in a genre I'm specifically looking for, as with any query, it's about hooking the reader's attention and getting them to want to read more. With her permission, here's her letter:

Dear Agent (to be personalized),

It's August 1968 in Westbruk, California and somebody's trying to murder Dessa Lechmann, the fire phobic, Dear Dessa Dreams advice columnist. A Turkish carpet merchant, a runaway from a harem in Zanzibar, and a hookah smoker from Cairo tell Dessa that a match-lighting man is the villain. Dessa doesn't believe them. Because in her dreams the match-lighting man is not the culprit. Besides having ordinary dreams about flying backwards, tsunamis, and upside down coyotes, Dessa dreams about past events she couldn't know about, set in places she's never been. Her dreams are as vivid as Technicolor movies and true. So if the match lighting man isn't the culprit, who is?

In 1906, Liesl-Marie conceived a son. Her priest told her he was not only her lover, but also her father. Any child of theirs would be a monster, he said. Now it's 1968 and the eighty-two year old Liesl-Marie has septicemia and is about to die. Having a match-lighting son (the match-lighting man described by the carpet merchant, harem runaway and hookah smoker) and suspecting that she has grandchildren and great grandchildren, Liesl-Marie starts fires to slay her monster progeny for the good of mankind. Mistakenly, she thinks Dessa is her granddaughter.

Will Dessa be able to fight through her fears, figure out what kind of childhood trauma caused her to be afraid of fire, deduce who the arsonist is, and save herself and others from the high rising flames of Liesl-Marie's last fire? Of course! And in KILLING THE MONSTERS (FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND) a literary mystery of approximately 64,000 words, she'll employ ingenious methods to do so.

I worked on KILLING THE MONSTERS (FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND) in the UCLA writing program under the tutelage of Caroline Leavitt, Kris Neri, Jessica Inclan and Leslie Lehr. During the course of my studies I auditioned for and was admitted into three advanced classes. My freelance non-fiction articles have appeared in numerous magazines such as AMERICAN CAREER, PORTHOLE and ACTIVE TIMES. KNIGHT, a professional company, produced two of my plays.

I've read that you like mysteries and I'd be delighted to send you all or part of KILLING THE MONSTERS (FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND).

Sincerely,
Diane

OK, first reaction: I can't follow this. You've got two different time periods introduced in your letter where you only need to focus on one -- the one in which the bulk of the action of the story occurs. If Dessa is your main character, introducing Liesl-Marie in a similar fashion (the structure for both paragraphs is very similar) makes me feel like she's on an equal footing with Dessa. In addition, the quirky introducing of the Turkish carpet merchant, the harem runaway, and the hookah smoker from Cairo also feels extraneous -- and certainly doesn't seem to need mentioning twice! You also mention prophetic dreams, and then drop that thread.

Consider if you need the para on Liesl-Marie. Can you focus the query on Dessa, and tell her side of the story, while leaving some of the mystery to be unveiled in the book itself?

Beyond the book description, I might cut out the names of your teachers at UCLA, and just focus on the program itself. Also, "I've read that you like mysteries" is too generic. Where did you read it? Was it an interview with the agent? In a book like the Writer's Market? Can you make mention of any of the agent's specific clients whose work may be similar in some degree with your novel? Also, offering "all or part" of the novel is overkill. I don't know any agents who ask for a full after reading a just letter. Try "a selection from".

Diane, I hope this was helpful. Readers, please add your comments as well. Would you wan to read more if you received this letter? Why or why not? What would you change about it if you were sending it out?

If we get a good discussion going, I'd be open to considering a query review like this on a more regular basis, so if you like to see the inner workings of my mind (oooh! Peep-toe pumps! and a Pony!), chime in!

We've got Olympic fever over here at kt literary, even though my favorite summer sport (gymnastics, of course) does not involve shoes. No worries, though. We found these giant Olympic shoes featuring the Beijing mascots. And so, in keeping with my very rare sports fever -- time trials! (Otherwise known as the Ask Daphne speed round.) On your marks, get set, go!

MJReader asks:

I have a finished manuscript and I want to find an agent. You said in your chat that any agent that charges fees up front is bogus. But what if it says they only charge for photocopying/postage if the book sells?

No worries. As long as your agent is only charging you after a sale -- and if, in the case of photocopying and/or postage, she sends you itemized listings of those expenses, then you can feel confident your agent isn't a cheat. If possible, ask for a limit on these expenses -- this is something to lay out in your agent agreement. Next!

Long question, short answer for Elena, who asks:

Technically, if you post a paragraph of your writing on the internet, it's considered published, right? I've read not to do that, since publishing your work on the internet will turn off publishers because you've already given away your "first rights". I posted some dialogue from my work-in-progress on my blog, but left out the narrative, so it's just a bare-bones edition of what my characters say in a scene. But, technically, the dialogue does appear in the draft in the exact same words. Once my book is ready for publishing, is this going to hurt me? If I deleted the blog posts that have specific mention of my writing, would this rectify the matter, or have I still given away my first rights? Would I have to re-write the scenes in this case, or is posting a small portion of your writing okay?

Elena, there's published and then there's "published". I think I'm stealing someone else's line here, but just because Blogger says your post is "published" doesn't make it so. I'd be wary of posting your entire manuscript, but a short scene here and there or a snippet of dialogue isn't going to turn off anyone I know. It's a good way to work towards being a professional blogger -- to show a little of your process in writing.

In a comment from a previous post, Elmie asks:

Do I interpret it correctly that there is still hope for self-published authors to seek a literary agent for as long as the first five chapters or first fifty pages are submitted and not in its book form? Should I tell them that my book has been self-published through a company and is retailed on line? Thank you so very much in advance for your kind help!

Absolutely! If those first five chapters or what have you sing, and you've submitted them in the proper format depends on our stated guidelines, we may excuse the self-publishing route. But unless you can report sales of thousands of copies, we're not likely to count self-publishing success as anything other than small-time.

And finally, rounding out our extra-large podium of winners, Emily writes:

I know you're absolutely, positively never supposed to start a story with your main character (or any character) waking up. But I was wondering about the second chapter. It's not just a waking up scene- it shows some important family relations- but I was wondering if that's way too soon to the beginning of the book? Is that a major rejection-worthy error?

If you're worried about it, I'd consider changing it. How else can you introduce those important family relations? Over dinner, perhaps? A waking up scene isn't one of my pet peeves, but I know a lot of agents and editors do dislike them -- It's a crutch, more than anything, towards introducing your character. if you can do so without that scene, I think you'd be better off -- if not, make sure it's the BEST waking up scene you can write.

Ok then, I'm getting back to my Olympic tv coverage query-reading. Go team!

A classic lone shoe movie poster for MD, who writes:

Since I couldn't drum up agent interest with my first book, I have written a sequel (how dumb is that?). I'm testing with new critters to make sure it's standalone, but should I mention that this second book is just that: a second book in a series. I have a few more ideas to continue this series, so I'm sure it could be at least three or more. How do I pitch a second book? Also, since agents didn't want it, I've sent it directly to publishers and gotten more positive responses. Will a publisher acceptance of Book 1 kill any possibility for Book 2 getting an agent? Of course, the publishers are small, therefore of no interest to agents. Should I withdraw Book 1 from the small publishers and hold out for a agent deal?

Lots of questions in one! Let's see if we can't make some order from chaos.

In sending your book out to agents for consideration, should you mention that it's the second book in a series? I say no. Granted, you have to be completely sure that it does work as a standalone, but there's a possibility that the reasons the first book was rejected do not apply to the second book. Maybe you're grown as a writer, and fixed newbie mistakes. As long as book 2 holds up as a standalone, don't let the weight of book 1 hold it down. if you must, say only that you can envision a number of other stories in this world that could be explored in future books.

Then, you're saying that since agents didn't want Book 1, you sent it to small publishers, who are expressing interest. Should you withdraw it from them on the hopes of an agent being interested in Book 2? Again, I say no. Even a request for a full manuscript isn't a guarantee, and as your own best advocate, you have to explore every possibility if you want your book to see its way to market. See what happens with the small publishers!

If you're lucky enough to land a publishing deal on your own with a small press (or with anyone, really), and you already have book two out and about, then you could go back to agents who are considering partials or fulls of book 2 and tell them the good news. Of course, many of them may want to see how book 1 does on the marketplace, and how your publisher is going to position it, but they might be able to help you land either a better deal for book 2, or a new home.

On a completely different note, have you tried writing a different book altogether? Consider pitching your career to agents with a novel that doesn't require any further reading, and is, in fact, a standalone. See how that goes.

Good luck!